Jeremy Clarkson has lifted the lid on life as a farmer, sharing the apparent expenses of bull semen, should you be intrigued to know.
While these aren’t the kind of thoughts we’d imagine you’d be concerning yourself with at a cushy desk job, these are the worries that Clarkson, who runs his Diddly Squat Farm, has to deal with.
Oh no, it’s not all fetching eggs and worming sheep – the artificial insemination of the farm’s cows is a prime subject for Clarkson and his partner, Lisa Hogan, who branded the process ‘fascinating’.
Looking forward to the more ‘down to Earth’ activities of the day-to-day running of Diddly Squat, the Clarkson’s Farm star didn’t mince, for want of a better word, the description of just how you inseminate a cow.
He told The Sun: ‘Apparently you have to put your hand up the cow’s bottom, I’m not quite sure why, in order to fill its vagina with the bull semen.
‘Phenomenally expensive, bull semen. So anyway, Lisa’s keen to do that.’
We’ll forgive The Grand Tour’s Clarkson for suggesting you put your hand up the cow’s bottom to inseminate it…
Reacting to Clarkson’s explanation, Hogan said: ‘I wouldn’t necessarily say it like that but, yes, I think AI (artificial insemination) is fascinating.’
The former Top Gear presenter has thrown himself fully into – wait for us to finish the sentence – farm life, documenting his wins and fails on his Amazon Prime series.
However, with great profile comes great interest, and the star’s farm has ruffled some local feathers with neighbours none too pleased about the high level of traffic in the area and cars parked haphazardly on roads.
He’s had a few run-ins with others in the Cotswolds village of Chadlington, with the police having previously been called due to congestion being clogged up by visitors to the location.
Speaking to any disgruntled townspeople before the rumourmill got out of hand, Clarkson held a town meeting last week.
He addressed the outcome of the meeting, in which he took over a hall and provided some ‘nice screw-top wine’ and cheese, with the outcome of achieving ‘peace in our time’.
Clarkson said: ‘Villagers gossip. I thought the best way rather than have everyone guessing what I’m doing was to simply go down there.
‘There were, by the end, three very, very angry people in the room and 60 or 70 perfectly happy people.’
He’s been continuing to update viewers on his progress on the farm, after swapping his London lifestyle for the rural spot he purchased in 2008, and the harsh realities that come with life on the land.
As well as cows Clarkson raises sheep on the 1000-acre farm, but had viewers of his show in tears – while also welling up himself – after previously being forced to put down three injured animals.
The highs and lows and ‘phenomenally expensive’ middles of farm life.
Clarkson’s Farm is available on Amazon Prime Video.