Katherine’s birth story is a doozy (Picture: bobby_k__ Instagram)
Just a day after giving birth, Katherine Ryan has shared with us all her rather action-packed birth story while it’s fresh in her mind.
And, let us tell you, she’s not mincing any of the details for our benefit – she’s describing the gushing waters and all.
The comedian welcomed a son on Sunday, named Frederick Ryan Kootstra, alongside partner Bobby Kootstra, and has opened up about the whole palaver on her podcast – which was delayed due to the aforementioned birth.
Katherine, who also has 11-year-old daughter Violet from another relationship, revealed she was meant to be induced on Monday, however little Fred had other ideas when he decided to come out a day early right when his mum thought she had a relaxing afternoon of nothing ahead.
Recording the podcast on Monday, she said: ‘I thought that I was going to have a baby today. I did not. My podcast on Sunday was late however, I had big plans for Sunday…’
As well as a load of ‘sexual influencing’ as she planned to get in a bikini and snap some ‘I’m not a regular mum’ photos by the pool, she also finished her book.
She revealed her exciting news yesterday (Picture: Instagram/@kathbum)
Katherine recalled: ‘I sent the email and I thought, the book is done, the final edit and I would be free, breezy and easy for the rest of the day to record the podcast.
‘Today’s podcast is dedicated to the story of Sunday, the fast arrival of our son.’
Describing her labour as three hours from the first contraction to Fred’s delivery, she said her labour ‘came out of almost absolutely nowhere’.
And when we tell you the details were rich…
Describing labour, she said: ‘It feels like the worst food poisoning of your life, you will shi*t yourself for most of the day.’
Talking about wanting a home birth, she learned as she’s over the age of 35 she is classed as a ‘geriatric pregnancy’, and also with her lupus she was advised to be in hospital.
Having got the ‘best hospital and consultant’, the comedian – who insisted her story is ‘not meant to be taken as medical advice’ -thought: ‘This labour’s gonna be amazing because I had nothing with Violet, I pretty much made it to the hospital moments before she was born, I had no drugs, I was very young and very financially-strapped, I thought posh women, surely they don’t feel anything.
‘I really imagined that posh people – because they act so strange on the school run – have access to some sort of diamorphine I don’t know about. False. They give you paracetamol.’
Going back to pre-labour Sunday, she said: ‘If you’re squeamish you shouldn’t be listening’ as she noted while out on a walk with her daughter she lost ‘this clear jelly baby, which is called a mucous plug…but I thought “big deal”‘.
She added: ‘I finish my book, then not two hours later, I’m eating a gluten-free crumpet and I feel a contraction. There are expectant people who say, “oh how do you know when it’s the real deal?” You know.’
Stating she had another four minutes later, which is ‘a bit of a deal’ she didn’t want to go to the hospital at that stage. Bobby had chimed in on the podcast and shared that Katherine had texted him as he got out of the shower to let him know she was having contractions – but try as he might, she was not budging to leave the house.
The star announced her pregnancy only two weeks ago (Picture: Instagram/kathbum/ITV)
He recalled: ‘The groans from upstairs slowly become louder,’ as his partner added: ‘It was hurting so much that I was, I’m blacked out at this moment, but quite vocal, wailing a little bit, asking the lord “why?” Just saying no a lot. The usual pain.’
With Bobby believing they needed to go to the hospital, but with Katherine ‘on the toilet, yelling, screaming’, the star conceded she was now fearing if they did travel into the hospital she would ‘poop herself in the car’, with Bobby ‘pulling over on Marylebone road and delivering this baby’.
Adding she was sad she has CCTV that captured her moments to the car, Katherine said: ‘You can just see me in my little black jammy set waddling out there feeling so sorry for myself, like, wimpering.’
After ‘squeezing the life out of whatever was left of her vagina to keep the baby in’, they’re now at the hospital and despite her grand plans of being ‘quite f**ked up on whatever drugs were offered’ it was too late – she was nine centimetres dilated and an epidural was out of the question.
She said: ‘I’d filled my lungs with 10 deep breaths of gas and air, so I was feeling great. It doesn’t take away the pain it just puts you on a little cloud nine where you don’t care as much.
‘My waters had not gone…I took one more deep, deep breath of the gas and air, it’s out of your control at that point, I had a biological urge to push as much as I could, I would wait for no one, I’m sorry, then I beared down as hard as I could and my waters popped and gushed like a dam breaking in Niagra Falls.
‘I got everything wet in that room. Luckily the waters were clear and clean.
‘I pushed that head out. They told Bobby “look down, your baby’s head”, and he did. And there’s a little baby smiling up at him. We didn’t know the gender…I took another big breath of gas and air…you think the shoulders and body are worse than the head, kinda not, pushed the rest of him out. Bobby said he was a boy and I said, “oh ok”.’
Katherine went on: ‘My takeaway is, I was very, very lucky but also very, very stupid and should have listened to science and gone to hospital a little early.’Credit: Original article published here.