With sex, as with many things, communication is key.
But sometimes it can be hard to speak up and ask for exactly what you want.
Maybe it feels too awkward. Maybe you got swept up in the moment, or you’re hoping your partner will just get it.
Regardless of why you might be struggling to make yourself heard, sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight has partnered with Hana to give us tips on how to communicate effectively in the boudoir…
Start the talking from the get-go
Annabelle says starting off on the right foot with honesty is key.
‘If you and your partner avoid talking about what you want in bed, then the chances are one (or both of you) are sexually dissatisfied,’ she explains.
‘If you find these conversations difficult then bring in a third party,’ she adds.
‘No, I’m not talking about threesomes but rather films, friends and fictional filth.
‘Don’t underestimate how far the “I read about this in a book…” conversation starter can go.’
Ensure you address contraception and consent early on
Essential parts of the aforementioned talking should be about the serious stuff.
‘When it comes to sex and relationships, there’s nothing sexier than consent,’ says Annabelle. ‘The idea that asking for consent from your partner act as a “proposal” of sorts should make the moment.
‘Having open conversations about contraception is very important for meeting your partner’s needs and vice versa.
‘I recommend layering contraception methods and, regardless of gender or sexual orientation, getting regular STI checks.’
Pay attention to non-verbal communication
Yes, words are important, but some things can and likely will be conveyed with body language as well – so keep both your eyes and ears open.
‘Non-verbal communication accounts for over half of all of our communication,’ Annabelle explains, ‘so it’s really important to be aware of our partner’s body language, especially in bed.
‘Positive body language may be the arching of the back, thrusting of hips, or gripping you tightly with their hand.
‘Understanding what your partner wants through their body language will lead to a far more satisfying and pleasurable sexual experience.’
But remember no one’s a mind-reader
Your partner could be listening intently to that body talk, but there are some things that can and should just be spelt out with words.
‘It’s really important not to make assumptions about what feels good for your partner, and equally for them not to assume what you like too,’ Annabelle says.
‘If there’s something you would like to try between the sheets then make sure your voice is heard and consent is given.
‘Saying something along the lines of “I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to try X, Y, or Z tonight,” not only gives your partner permission to explore but also opens up your mutual pleasure potential as well.’
Have a laugh
Don’t forget that sex is supposed to be fun, and sometimes bodies are kind of awkward.
Annabelle says: ‘Film, TV, and even porn often shows sex scenes as being so easy and natural. However, it’s not always like this and embarrassing things do happen.
‘Seeing the funny side of these moments will help to steer sex away from always being totally serious and will help you and your partner feel closer as a couple.’
Credit: Original article published here.