You can catch Kerry Godliman in Whistable Pearl on Acorn TV (Picture: Mark Bourdillon/AcornTV)
Finished Netflix? Fed up with Amazon Prime Video?
There’s a big wide world of alternative streaming services out there.
From a true crime catalogue to the best of trash TV, we round up the ones that may have passed you by.
Acorn? That’s a pretty naff name. Granted, yes, it’s not a great one. But it’s been in the UK since 2020 and has been slowly growing like an, er, acorn.
Why should I subscribe? If you’ve ever looked at the TV landscape and thought ‘I don’t think there’s enough crime drama currently on air to satisfy my blood lust’ then, buddy, Acorn is absolutely the service for you. It’s packed to the brim with classic – and original – crime dramas from around the world.
I love crime dramas! Don’t we all? The best thing about Acorn is that its detective capers tend to be a little on the lighter side (think Rosemary & Thyme more than Luther) so it won’t send you to bed in a bad mood like seemingly every current crime drama wants to.
What should I start with? Kerry Godliman (of After Life fame) is utterly charming in coastal detective series Whitstable Pearl. It has a ludicrous set-up: she plays a single mum who runs a seafood restaurant and moonlights as a private detective. Who couldn’t love that? Agatha Raisin and Queens Of Mystery, also available, are similarly light-hearted.
I’m sold. How much? A mere £4.99 a month.
Find out more here.
Forest Whitaker stars in the gritty US drama Godfather of Harlem, available on Starzplay (Picture: EPIX)
That ‘z’ is quite upsetting. Look, for some of us, the ’90s never died and you need to come to terms with that. You’ll come to love it.
It offers some of the biggest US dramas that UK broadcasters bafflingly decided not to bid for.
How come? Because some executive boffin decided Gordon Ramsay Does Jenga was of more value to the taxpayer than a Forest Whitaker drama.
Ooh, I like him. You should. And you should also be watching his epic gangster drama Godfather Of Harlem, which tells the tale of the notorious Bumpy Johnson, who returns from prison to find his New York neighbourhood in a shambles. It’s a bit Sopranos and well worth watching.
Anything else? Loads. The Girlfriend Experience is Steven Soderbergh-
approved and a chilling anthology series about the sex industry.
Pennyworth sees Batman’s butler Alfred get buff. And Power Book is a spin-off in the universe of 50 Cent’s popular crime drama Power. It’s a lot better than that sentence suggests.
Make me an offer I can’t refuse. How about all that for just £4.99
If you like Dr Pimple Popper, you’ll love Discovery+
This sounds quite highbrow. You might think so – but it’s absolutely not. Discovery+ is the home of guilty-pleasure television.
If you’ve ever lost an afternoon of your life watching My 600-lb Life then you’ll be right at home.
What’s my next obsession, then? We have a soft spot for Help! My House Is Haunted, a supernatural reality show about g-g-ghosts and spooky shenanigans. We’ve even got an interview with the star in the box top right. Check a look.
He’s certainly something… Incredible, right?
Here’s a fun little game for you. Which of these shows am I making up – Big Giant Swords, Ghost Bait, My Feet Are Killing Me or Pit Bulls & Parolees?
I sincerely hope all of them. Bad news. None of them. They are all available to stream as part of your subscription.
Is it wrong that I kind of need this? Not at all. We all need a bit of guilty-pleasure television from time to time and Discovery+ excels at it.
Not that it’s all trash, however – there are some incredible expedition documentaries (First To The Top Of The World), some cracking engineering shows (Mighty Cruise Ships) and, of course, Dr Pimple Popper. I know you want to watch that, you sick freak.
Damnit, I do. Just take my money. Gladly. It’s £4.99 per month or £49.99 for the whole year.
Get the goss here.