Jeremy Clarkson has revealed plans to increase his £55,000,000 fortune by cutting down some trees.
Despite earning millions from his TV work, Diddly Squat farm, and even his car collection, the 64-year-old former Top Gear star has discovered a side hustle.
The presenter now wants to grow willow trees on his Oxfordshire farm and sell the wood for cricket bats.
And by doing so, he intends to exact revenge on those who forced him to play cricket at school.
Writing in The Sunday Times, Clarkson reportedly said: ‘I see people playing it sometimes when I’m in Surrey and my lip curls in an involuntary, animalistic display of rage.
‘You know how your dog behaves when it sees a stranger walking past your host? Well, that’s me driving through Chiddingfold.
‘But now I’ve worked out how I can get my own back. I’m going to take all of their money.’
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? The host joked that he would ‘hurt’ cricket fans in their ‘wallets’ as a form of vengeance against the sport as a whole.
He added: ‘So stand by cricketists. I’m going to hurt you, but not like you hurt me [at school].
‘I’m going to hurt you in your wallets. I’m going to become the cricket bat king of Chippings Norton and I’m going to bash your credit cards until they look like Steve Martin’s in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.’
Clarkson went on to insist that, after making his own business plan, demand is ‘huge’ in India and Pakistan, with cricket players preferring the English variety of willow over the Kashmiri type used to make bats ‘because it’s lighter’.
While we’ll have to wait and see if Clarkson’s plan comes to fruition on a new season of Amazon Prime‘s Clarkson’s Farm, The Grand Tour star recently revealed that some of the drama he’s faced at Diddly Squat, including a planning permission dispute with his local council, has helped shape storylines.
Clarkson has faced numerous challenges while filming the show, including frequent reprimands from farming contractor Kaleb Cooper. However, dealing with local authorities has proven to be one of the most challenging.
He has faced challenges, including expanding the farm shop’s parking lot and opening a restaurant on-site.
But it did make for good TV, as he recalled how he was once told by a friend: ‘If you want a storyline for the next series, try getting planning permission for something.’
Clarkson’s Farm is streaming on Amazon Prime Video.