If you’re a woman, you’ve most likely been referred to as a ‘money digger’ at some time in your life.
Whether you hit right on a financial man on Tinder, were taken on a date someplace finer than Nando’s, or just admitted to having a crush on a footballer.
While the tone is lighthearted, sexism is at the heart of everything.
That’s precisely what Laura Vaughan of Married At First Sight said.
On Tuesday’s show, it was revealed that fellow competitor Luke Worley had dubbed Laura a wealth digger behind her back after she identified her type as a “Chelsea boy.”
He said: ‘When you sat on the couch… what you was [sic] asking for was a man with money who was going to look after you financially. You come across as a gold digger.’
‘The gold digger narrative is so f***ing lazy,’ she told him. ‘That was disrespectful.’
In two separate confessionals, she added: ‘Luke has a lot of opinions. He called me a gold digger and he’s in the wrong. I’m not gonna take anyone’s s**t… it’s misogynistic and I just think that it needs to stop right now.’
As I watched the events develop, I was filled with admiration for Laura, who had the courage to call out his unjust comments. I know how simple it is to shrug these things off in order to live a better life, but Laura understood it was wrong and demonstrated to people that they don’t have to tolerate it.
Laura is completely correct. Would we assume a man who claimed to be a ‘Chelsea girl’ sought to sneak into their Birkin purse? Most likely not.
This is because women must conform to a completely separate set of mind-boggling criteria in order to get the favour of society, which men do not have to consider.
Consider how high-profile women are treated.
Following her divorce from Johnny Depp, Amber Heard was called a wealth digger. Kim Kardashian was referred to as one when she first met Kanye West, and again when they divorced. During Love Island, Molly-Mae Hague was accused of going for Tommy Fury’s family money and was viciously dubbed Money-Mae.
All of these women were doing well before they met their spouses (or exes in the case of the first two), but no one is talking about it.
This is why Laura chastising Luke for using the word is so significant. She overheard a man behind her back calling her a sexist phrase, which I feel happens far more frequently than women realise, and called it out.
She didn’t need to defend herself, but she said: ‘I have never once in my life needed a man to pay for anything… I actually paid for my last wedding. If I’m a gold digger, then I’m definitely doing it wrong.’
Laura has done the right thing addressing the situation and explaining why she finds it offensive
The Hampshire-based finance manager has explained she likes the Chelsea accent and these types of men for their gentlemanly ways. Perhaps, she does want her partner to match her financial stability and is that so wrong?
I’m reminded of the words of America Ferrera’s character in the recent Barbie film, who said: ‘[Women] have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass.’
Every day, it appears that our patriarchal culture imposes more regulations on us. Women cannot seek money, display financial goals, or be overly motivated by money. that’s impolite to rely on a man for that.
If you want to be a mother, go back to work as soon as possible to support yourself, but don’t ignore your children by putting your profession first.
If you plan to out-earn your male spouse, make sure the knowledge is never made public. Earn less so he does not feel emasculated. You need guys, but not too many, since then you’re simply wanting his money.
We must maintain the equilibrium properly balanced or we will be chastised.
Although women are frequently the ones who bear the brunt of these expectations, it is not beneficial for anyone. Men don’t want to wonder if their attractiveness stems from the amount that appears in their bank on payday.
Laura did the correct thing by confronting the problem and stating why she finds it disrespectful. Now I’d like to see Luke admit and apologise for his preconceptions about her.
Going ahead, I’d like Luke and the rest of the cast to consider if they’re being nice or fair by hurling this abuse with no proof.
I believe it’s past time we filed for divorce from the gold digger myth and said ‘I do’ to not viewing women so reductively.