Ah bah humbug, ripping on the most overrated characters from the most divisive Christmas films ever makes upmy most wonderful time of the year.
For those who celebrate, Christmas is a time of giving, of eating, of admiring the twinkling lights on your tree or the blindingly overdone decorations on your neighbour’s gaff.
And for many, it’s spending the cold evenings cosied up and taking in one of the many, many (too many!) festive films on offer.
It’s around this time that our senses are overwhelmed with a distraught Emma Thompson in Love Actually or a rather dashing Jude Law in The Holiday. Every year, no fail. And despite some absolute corkers of new Christmas films (take Boxing Day, for instance, or recent crowd fave Last Christmas) on offer, punters still love to return to the oldies for that hit of December nostalgia.
Sadly all these recent Christmas classics have provided are examples of overrated characters who have gone down in festive lore as icons. Well, to that, I say, nay.
Time to make some enemies.
Juliet from Love Actually
Where do I even begin with Juliet? From the little baker boy hat, to her ‘I look quite pretty, don’t I?’ to her kissing a man who is not her husband all because he professed his love for her on sheets of cardboard (overrated scene, tbh), she’s a problematic queen who has somehow whipped the masses into an eggnog frenzy over the years.
The little octopus who crashes Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon’s car ride has more personality.
Buddy the Elf
Is Buddy funny or are we just distracted by Will Ferrell screaming the whole time? Because that’s basically what he does. Whinges and screams.
In general, you fair people have branded it your most overrated film, so you’re clearly onto something there.
The sentiment is fun, sure. Huge man grows up thinking he’s an elf until he leaves the North Pole in search of his real dad. And it provides some great moments of slapstick. But that’s about it. It’s not very deep, is it?
Cindy Lou Who from How The Grinch Stole Christmas
The Whos of Whoville are just generally a rotten bunch of people, who banished an actual child to a mountain cave because he didn’t fit in and was green and furry.
But the Grinch is the bad guy here?!
So, sorry little girl but Cindy Lou Who is taking the brunt of my dislike for the bad people of Whoville.
But also, why couldn’t Cindy Lou just let The Grinch do his bad thing up on Mount Crumpit?
She had to stick her upturned nose into his business and insisted he was a good person, causing his heart to grow three sizes which sounds more like torture.
Look, an admirable mission but there’s clearly a reason we didn’t get The Grinch 2 and it’s because of this little stickybeak.
Cameron Diaz in The Holiday
Another modern Christmas classic, The Holiday has gone down in the same sort of cult-favourite listing as Love Actually.
It’s festive, it’s cosy, Jude Law is a babe but *record rip* sorry Cameron Diaz’s character Amanda is way too annoying to be a Christmas icon.
The woman has more money than sense and was somehow surprised the tiny cottage she rented in the English countryside didn’t have central heating.
And who wears heels in the snow? Honestly. I don’t care if she’s from LA where it doesn’t know, common sense should prevail here.
We bet if she realised the cost of UK real estate meant that little cottage she as poo-pooing was probably worth a cheeky million.
Her rendition of Mr Brightside still does tickle, though.
Kevin McCallister from Home Alone
I know, I know, taking potshots at the kid from Home Alone. But here we are.
I know he’s beloved, but come on, this sadistic kid sets traps for burglars when he could have just called the police? This is some pure gateway criminal activity, no two ways about it.
And don’t get me started on this kid’s family, though, but it’s obvious they’re horrible people seeing as they FORGOT about their SON. Don’t feel pity for them, in their frazzled state – call child services.
Just die Hard in general
Not a Christmas movie.Credit: Original article published here.