Brenda Edwards believes she will “never be able to come to terms” with the reality that her son Jamal Edwards’ demise was announced on social media before she did.
The broadcaster, 54, lost her only son unexpectedly in February 2022, when he was only 31 years old.
Edwards’ outfit SBTV helped launch the careers of some of the biggest stars on the British music scene, and he was engaged in numerous charities; his family has since established a charity in his honour to continue his work.
Brenda has now joined Ashley Cain in a new edition of MV Faces, in which the former striker speaks with other celebs who have suffered terrible sorrow following the death of his eight-month-old daughter Azaylia to leukaemia.
The pair discussed their children’s deaths in a frank and often painful manner, but with moments of optimism, including commenting on signals they believe have been sent from the other side, in the wide-ranging and emotional discussion.
Brenda and his sister Tanisha were with Edwards at home the night he passed, which gives Brenda comfort.
However, word of his passing circulated quickly on social media, before the family could make an announcement and while his body was still at the home.
Brenda told Ashley about her outrage when she first heard the rumors, confessing she was’very, very angry’ that ‘the news of his passing was taken away from me.’
She remembered seeing the news just a few hours after her son passed, and how the shock and rage ‘took me away from the moment of my grief’ leaving her wondering, ‘Who did that?’
‘It wasn’t even 24 hours. It was the same night, five or six hours after.’
She said she couldn’t ‘process’ what had happened as ‘social media is going crazy’ with people writing messages like ‘tell me this isn’t true.’
‘That was a disrespect I don’t think I’ll ever be able to come to terms with,’ she said.
‘People should have had that respect for him and for me. When I want to say whatever I want to say then I should be able. He’s my son. I should have the right to announce this, but it’s been taken out of my hands.’
Brenda acknowledged that she finds it difficult to’revisit’ that time because it is “too painful knowing I didn’t have control of something I should have had control of.”
‘I will never get that back. The thought that something is out there while my baby is still with me on the premises.’
The pair also discussed the optimism they feel when they receive a sign from their children, with Brenda noting that blue is a hue she sees a lot more now, with Edwards having been an ardent Chelsea fan, and that she ‘feels his spirit every day.’
Meanwhile, Ashley receives signs in the form of rainbows and the colour orange, observing, ‘If we haven’t even made it to the depths of the ocean yet, who are you to tell me that orange sky isn’t my daughter?’
Ashley was interviewed on the first edition of MTV Faces by Kelsey Parker, the wife of the late Tom Parker of The Wanted fame, who died in March 2022 of a brain tumour.
Ashley said he was ‘proud and pleased’ to be taking part in the series, which provides a stage for honest conversations about loss, with Kelsey agreeing it was desperately required because grief is ‘still such a taboo subject.’
Ashley will meet down with Roman Kemp and Jordan Stephens in upcoming shows to discuss their own grief journeys.
MTV FACES hosted by Ashley Cain goes live on Thursdays weekly on MTV UK YouTube. This week’s episode features Brenda Edwards.