It looks like more than 10% of people in the UK like to chew on their toes, so it shouldn’t be a big deal.
So why don’t half of the Brits who have a foot fetish tell their partner?
13% of people in the UK like toe-sucking and foot play, so it’s important to know how to talk about it openly and without judging.
It can be scary to talk about something as personal as a fetish or kink, but the right person won’t judge you if you want to “dip your toes” into the world of fetishes.
We spoke to Sarah Louise Ryan, a relationship expert at Tailor Matched, who told us how to approach the subject of toe-sucking and foot play with a partner.
Sarah tells Metro.co.uk: ‘Anything that isn’t deemed a “sexual norm” or widely talked about in regards to sex can often be because it’s got stigma or shame attached to it.
‘Ultimately, we are all different and have different needs inside and outside of the bedroom – so if we could open up more conversations around kinks and fetishes the less people would “yuck other people’s yums.”
‘Just because it’s not one person’s thing in the bedroom – and because it’s not widely talked about – doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. We should talk more about sex, no matter what the subtopic is.’
It’s not as weird to be interested in exploring toe-sucking because you have a foot fetish. In reality, there are a variety of sexual appeals associated with feet.
Sarah explains that this is because, as Freud hypothesised, the foot is shaped similarly like the penis.
“Another reason, cited by many sexologists, is that the feet are sensitive areas of the body (with many nerve endings), therefore they can trigger excitement when handled.
When submitting to a dominant of any gender, one fetish that can be included in the BDSM experience is worshipping the dominant’s feet.
“Feet are involved in about half of all fetishes. Why some people find feet sexually appealing and others don’t can be attributed to a wide range of factors.
Professional advice on how to bring up toe-sucking and foot play with a significant other:
Be open about what you’re in to
While it is important you listen to your partner’s wants and needs, it’s also important to listen to what you want and need.
Sarah says: ‘Be open about what you’re into, no matter what it is. It’s important that you can be open with your partner about your needs in the bedroom.
‘Ultimately, when you’re open about what your wants, needs and desires are you first and foremost live your life with integrity to yourself – you don’t just enter the bedroom to satisfy someone else’s needs.’
But where and when should you bring it up?
‘Find a good time, outside of the bedroom when you’re both relaxed to talk about things you’d like to try, explore and listen to your partner without judgement, which will open the door for them to do the same,’ says Sarah.
‘When we communicate to create connection it’s not just about the words we say but how we say them.
‘This is paralinguistic to consider that help forge connection when we relate – so consider tone, timing, pace, open body language and eye contact as you share what you want.’
Stay deeply connected with your partner
Keeping your desires and needs hidden from your partner may put a significant strain on any relationship.
Sarah maintains, “Sex is a topic that leads many couples to feel distant. This is because they don’t communicate their needs and desires prior to, during, and after sexual activity.
It’s also because a lot of people think they’re fine merely because they’ve seen porn or had satisfying sex in the past. To maintain a sexually satisfying relationship, it’s important to keep the lines of communication open, as our needs and desires evolve alongside us as individuals.
To paraphrase, “when couples gain self-assurance together, they may choose to take more adventures together.”
How to engage in toe-sucking with your partner:
Experts say that toe-sucking, also known as “shrimping,” can be handled the same way as ordinary oral sex.
Sucking a partner’s toes is just like sucking their mouth or hands when you’re making out.
The first step, according to experts, should be rubbing your partner’s feet and dragging kisses down their foot.
Start at the top and kiss your way down to the toes before popping them in your mouth.
Make imaginative use of your tongue. The best way to learn what your partner likes and dislikes is to listen to them.
Keep the lines of communication open so you may talk about your sexual desires.
“Many couples find that they have mismatched libidos, divergent needs and frequencies of sexual connection, boundaries surrounding what identifies infidelity, and more,” adds Sarah.
The only way for a couple to stay in sync with one another is to have frequent, in-depth conversations about the specifics of their sexual desires, including how frequently, when, and where those desires might be satisfied.
To paraphrase, “else it can just be a large grey space of dissatisfaction, detachment, and waning desire.”
Enthusiastic consent is the only way
Consent. Consent. Consent. It’s always the most important thing, and we don’t mean reluctant consent either.
Sarah says: ‘If your partner doesn’t want to do something then it’s important to really respect that.
‘Enthusiastic consent is the only way to have informed, empowered and really enjoyable sex and if it’s anything other… “when in doubtt, do nowt”.
‘What you could do, so your needs are met and your sexual desires are satisfied, is ask your partner how it is that you can satisfy those needs without them, with their consent so you can be true to you and fully embrace what you’re into inside the bedroom.
‘Open, honest and free-flowing communication in a loving way should see both parties getting what they want.’
Go slow and work up to it
Trying something new can be slightly awkward and a bit unnerving for both people involved – but as long as you’re both consenting then it’s important just to see what happens.
Sarah says: ‘Go slow, work up. Communicate before during and after.
‘Feel fully informed and do your research, be openminded and be open to stopping if you, your partner or both aren’t enjoying it at any time.’
