My Celebrity Life

The summer blockbusters you actually need to get to the cinema to see, from Elvis to Thor: Love & Thunder

Only on the big screen (Picture: Hugh Stewart/Fred Norris/Universal/Illumination Entertainment/Jasin Boland)

Larging it up ‘Exclusively in cinemas’ is Hollywood’s hot sell in 2022. Fighting off streaming services in the post-Covid age, it could just be a winning strategy for Tinseltown.

So what else will join Lightyear and Jurassic World: Dominion in getting you to leap off that couch?

We take a peek preview at the blockbusters that are just too big for the small screen, and that you simply have to get out of the house and see.

Elvis

He’s the King of Rock ’n’ Roll (Picture: Hugh Stewart)

In a nutshell: Blinging sensational Elvis biopic created by Moulin Rouge director Baz Luhrmann. This retells the King of Rock ’n’ Roll’s story through the memories of his Svengali manager, Colonel Parker (Tom Hanks in a fat suit).

Prepare to be blown away by the pelvis-tastic turn of young blue-eyed actor Austin Butler, who appears genuinely possessed by Presley. A star is born.

How big is big? It’s ‘The Apocalypse Now of musicals’, is the modest boast of director Luhrmann. He may be right. Tipped for multiple Oscars, Elvis is a must-see cross-generational epic (it’s nearly three hours long). Bonus points for being a blockbuster that’s (gasp!) NOT a sequel – now, there’s a novelty.

When can I see it? June 24

The Black Phone

A call you might not want to answer (Picture: Fred Norris/Universal)

In a nutshell: Say hello to this year’s Halloween costume. A supernatural horror wherein a 13-year-old boy is abducted by a white-faced, top hat-wearing serial killer nicknamed the Grabber (Ethan Hawke, channelling the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang).

Through a disconnected phone in his soundproof prison, the boy hears voices of the killer’s previous victims, who try to help him escape.

How big is big? We’re talking the next Saw. Based on a Joe Hill short story, it’s co-written by Scott Derrickson, who had such faith in its success, he ditched Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness in order to direct it.

When can I see it? June 24 – that’s if you dare.

Minions: The Rise Of Gru

The Minions hit the 70s (Picture: Illumination Entertainment and Universal)

In a nutshell: Those bibble-babbling little yellow guys are back for more animated mischief in a movie that’s both a sequel (to the 2015 Minions film) and a prequel (to 2010’s Despicable Me).

It’s the 1970s as the Minions set out to help a 12-year-old suburban kid called Gru (Steve Carell) realise his dream of joining a gang of supervillains known as the Vicious 6 (voiced by such former action legends as Jean-Claude Van Damme and Lucy ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ Lawless).

In case you somehow missed it, the Diana Ross/Tame Impala theme tune Turn Up The Sunshine is already everywhere.

How big is big? Predicted to outgrow the first Minions movie, which earned $1.159 billion worldwide and became the tenth-highest-grossing film of all time. That’s a mighty big bunch of bananas.

When can I see it? July 1

Thor: Love & Thunder

Stop, hammer time (Picture: Marvel / Jasin Boland)

In a nutshell: Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, a traumatised Thor (Chris Hemsworth) once again retreats to find inner peace.

Thankfully for us, he doesn’t. Instead, Thor gets the gang of Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson), Korg (director Taika Waititi) and former squeeze Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) together to stop Gorr The God Butcher (Christian Bale) from making good on his name and butchering all the gods.

How big is big? Thor: Ragnarok was such ridiculous fun that even superhero movie refuseniks couldn’t resist its charms. This OTT sequel is meant to be even more crazily entertaining.

When can I see it? July 5.

 


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