Jonathan Ross has made a rather startling admission of his first sexual encounter, claiming it was with a couple of inanimate objects – an orange and a Hoover.
The presenter – who married screenwriter Jane Goldman in 1988 and the pair share daughters Betty, 29, and Honey, 23, and son Harvey, 26 – opened up on the ‘very uncomfortable experience’ of using a piece of fruit and a household appliance to try and learn the ways of intimacy, after saying he didn’t kiss a girl until he was 17 years old.
Jonathan said he was exploring some tips he read in his mother’s women’s magazines, as he recalled the experience on Rhod Gilbert’s Growing Pains this week.
He said on the Comedy Central series: ‘I didn’t know anything about sex. I became very interested in women’s magazines and would read my mum’s to try and pick out clues as to what women were.
‘Cosmopolitan, they had sex tips. I was slightly aroused by it… there was one section that said “How to get your man to be better at oral sex”. To me, the man going down there – I couldn’t work out what it meant.’
Talking about learning how to orally pleasure a woman using an orange, he added: ‘It said, “Peel the orange and the hole in the middle, insert your tongue”, so I felt, “This is something I need to learn”…
‘I wanted to know what sex was.’
He continued explaining: ‘I was so desperate for the idea of sex… I had read somewhere, this was after unsuccessfully trying to attempt oral sex on an orange… I’d read that female-to-male oral sex could be replicated with a Hoover, which was a very uncomfortable experience and not pleasant for anyone.’
Jonathan also admitted that he and his friends were so inept at chatting to girls, they thought the best way to attract them was to drop a condom on the floor.
The Masked Singer judge celebrated his wedding anniversary to Jane in August and sent a lovely tribute, praising her as an ‘alpha female’.
Jonathan shared with fans on social media that they had celebrated their special day with a snack you’ll either love or hate, captioning the Instagram pic: ‘Today I have enjoyed 32 years married to this Alpha Female. We celebrated with Marmite on toast. Here’s to 32 more!’
The talkshow host received messages of congratulations from his famous pals, with Keith Lemon writing: ‘Big congratulations!’
Actress Aisling Bea posted a string of red love hearts and director Edgar Wright said: ‘CONGRATULATIONS to the coolest couple ever.’
Credit: Original article published here.